vrijdag 9 oktober 2009

Ze was bang voor blauwe plekken

Blauwe billen, de danseres die uit haar paal viel was bang voor blauwe billen.

'Hier' zei ze tegen mij. 'smeer dit op mijn billen, anders zit ik morgen vol blauwe plekken en dan kan ik niet werken'. Ze gaf me een potje met een witte zalf.

Even dacht ik er over om te weigeren. Ik wist dat je in de USA om het minste of geringste aangeklaagd wordt en stel dat ik haar billen niet goed genoeg zou behandelen en er alsnog blauwe plekken zouden verschijnen, dan kon ik misschien een gepeperde rekening verwachten. Bovendien was mij zojuist, onder geheimzinnge omstandigheden, een brief overhandigd door een man die nog geen minuut later in een auto stapte die direct ontplofte. Ik besloot om extra grondig haar billen in te smeren, zodat ik in ieder geval tijd had om na te denken. Bovendien was het bepaald geen onaangenaam klusje, zeker omdat ik alle dollarbiljetten die uit haar broekje vielen mocht houden. Snel zou de politie hier zijn en als ze aan me zouden vragen of ik iets wist van de ontplofte man,of eigenlijk van de ontplofte auto met een man erin, wat zou ik dan zeggen? Wat stond er in de brief?

Ondertussen ontving ik met veel plezier de complimenten van de danseres over de zorgvuldige wijze waarop haar billen insmeerde. Ik geloof zelfs dat ze een beetje opgewonden raakte, maar dat kon natuurlijk verbeelding zijn. Het was verbeelding, want opeens begon ze hard te gillen. Een neger met een zwart leren jack, onduidelijke tattoo's en, vreemd, een beugel, geflankeerd door twee Latino's, sprak me aan en zei : 'Yo, white boy, what you doin' with my bitch?'

Ik keek de heren eens aan. Alledrie droegen ze zwarte zonnebrillen. Ik bedacht dat ik me hier niet kletsend uit zou kunnen redden en besloot mijn vriendin de danseres lief aan te kijken. Een klik van haar vinger en ik zou deze stripteasebar niet levend verlaten, zo veel was duidelijk.

'Iedereen liep naar buiten vanwege die explosie' zei ze, terwijl ze me recht aankeek. 'Maar hij hield me vast en hij heeft me geslagen op mijn billen, kijk maar' ze liet ons haar billen zien die ondanks mijn gewrijf enkele fraaie bloeduitstortingen lieten zien. Door de vette zalf was het extra goed zichtbaar.

'Is that a fact?' vroeg de neger aan me. Hij maakte niet de indruk op het antwoord te willen wachten. Mijn vriendin, die eigenlijk niet meer mijn vriendin was gezien haar laatste opmerking, pakte haar nagellak. Ze had zich blijkbaar voorgenomen om eens op haar gemakje te kijken hoe ik in elkaar geslagen zou worden.

Toen ging de deur van de kroeg open, een schot klonk en een van de latino's zakte in elkaar. Onder hem een plas bloed.




33 opmerkingen:

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